Below is a piece I wrote for the Running Towards community (sign up here to get access to our monthly newsletter).
The Running Towards community is a collaborative project founded by naturopathic doctors (a few of my greatest friends and I) that aims to make self-love and better health accessible, affordable, and achievable. The group focuses on creating doable challenges for the body, mind, and spirit based on monthly themes. For the month of April, we talk about how we can grow through our fears and obstacles. I hope you enjoy it!
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Why do we have fears in the first place?
Fear is our most primal emotion. An evolutionary perspective for the existence of fear is that it is our mind trying to protect us from what we deem ‘threats’. Fear has always been humankind’s vantage point for survival. Yet hundreds of thousands of years later fear has extended to the complexities of the modern Homo sapiens. Fear itself has evolved from the uncomplicated “man vs. nature” instinct to the many different types we recognize and sympathize with – rejection, failure, exams, driving, flying, public speaking, heights, drowning, anxiety, etc.
Evolutionary biology, neuroscience, and progressive thinking have largely expanded our grasp on fear. We are hardwired to feel fear almost instantly and to associate it with unpleasantness and negativity. We know our ancestors once used fear to develop survival skills. We have carried for millennia the tendency to equate the feeling of fear with affliction, that we often forget that we aren’t running from extinction anymore. Over time, humans have done such a good job of dismissing fear, wanting it to just go away without the slightest thought of getting to know it better.
Growing through our challenges
No matter what your stance on religion is, we can learn a few things from Buddhism. The remedy to fear, as best summarized by a Huffington Post article: “In Buddhist terms, only when we liberate ourselves from the causes (Karma – causal actions, and Kleśas – afflictive emotions), conditions (habitual patterns and tendencies), and effects (the various existences) of fear, can we begin to overcome it.” Humans have been given one of nature’s most perplexing gifts – logic. If we were able to transcend our physical limitations for eras, then we can certainly cope with our fears by understanding them.
Fears and obstacles spare no one, and the reality is that these are what hinder us from achieving our personal goals. Our amygdalae scream, “Feel me! I’m afraid!” Our cerebral cortices only hope to detach from the distress. How can we then see these cues in a different light? We must understand that in order for us to overcome our fears and obstacles, we have to challenge our way of thinking and follow the logic of detaching from the fear.
Why am I afraid?
Why is this obstacle keeping me from accomplishing my goals?
What might have happened that led to me feeling overwhelmed by this fear?
What do I truly need right now?
When confronted with any fear, try your best to remind yourself that by making an effort to understand your fear you are actually overcoming it. Detach yourself from your fears and obstacles by setting your intentions on genuinely understanding them. Take this as an opportunity to do whatever you need.
If fear seems irrationally inescapable, seeking professional help is always a good idea. Do not deprive yourself of company (family, friends, therapists) and resources. You never have to feel alone in your healing journey.
Allow yourself moments to honestly find out what you need. Are your fears largely external (driving, exams, performance, bankruptcy etc.)? Or are your fears based on how you perceive yourself to be (rejection, loneliness, etc.)? Do you need to allot time to create a practical study schedule? Is there a friend or an experienced driver that you can request to sit in with you in the car while practicing? Do you need to research thoroughly before your presentation? Do you need to develop sustainable marketing strategies in order to keep your business profitable? Be realistic and gauge how your fears can be addressed. Ask for help when you need it. Take advantage of your network!
Actively find the time to do things that bring you peace. Perhaps it is walking in a park that comforts you. Writing on a journal and maybe even sending a letter to Dear Fear. Consider meditation as another tool, and it doesn’t even have to start out as what we normally perceive it to be (i.e. the whole zen lotus pose). Meditation can be an activity that you know you have to put a lot of focus in e.g. painting, singing, reading. Mindfulness strategies can be helpful in the face of a dreadful scenario. Continually visualizing your goals and affirming your intentions can also help amplify your attitude and build up your courage.
We embrace our fears by understanding them. When we appreciate them, we realize that fear is simply an emotion, neither good nor bad. Our better judgment enables us to channel our fears in a positive way. We can choose to see it as a way to appreciate peace, kindness, and compassion even more. We become genuinely more content with ourselves.
Understanding fear makes it a choice. You are choosing to see fear as a way to seek comfort. By doing so, you are finding purpose to your experiences. You are ultimately creating a more meaningful life for yourself. Don’t be afraid to work with your fears and freely run towards your peace.